Temporary tragedies....

I have fallen in love with Dillinger Four. Certainly...this is long overdue when one looks at my musical choices...D4 seems to be a gimme, a shoe-in, a mulligan (any more golf-references???)

But the reason is....D4 makes my belly burn. Its amazing because when one looks at these individuals, you, essentially, see crap slinging drunks who sling out a few words sometimes and bust a few chords together, but when you hear what they are saying....you want to do something. I believe in the words they say....which sometimes creates conflicting feelings....

However...this is the point...my brother has on his facebook page a quote from Walt Whitman, where, Whitman says something along the lines of "I contradict myself? Fine then, I do, I contain multitudes." I like this quote. Because of my faith and what I believe in, people will find it quick to point out that D4 are absolutely anti-Christian, or anti-religion. I think that its more so they are anti-traditional thought and procedures. Which is fine with me. So am I. I believe you always question and push and try to discover faith. And if you don't want to then that is fine!

So I love D4 I love what they believe in but I believe in the Christ and all He is. Is that a true contradiction? Actually its not...but thats a whole other slew of things...

You know you get old when you don't know what the kids listen to...

What is is about music that is so amazing? I have always wondered why music is such a driving force in human culture...why music allows us to be expressive, impressive, therapeutic, and all those good things...at least music at its more natural level...not the big blown up pay 200 dollars for a ticket to watch an hour of my nuts dance around on stage...anyhow, I deviate...

As I drive to and from my job, I blast my music. Sure, I listen to the radio every so often, but lately I have been listening to the Street Dogs (I think that is their name.) They have these songs about being on the road, playing music, drinking, and just living life. And in those few moments I feel the most awake, alert, alive. So what is it?

If someone has the answer, I never want to hear them utter it. I love the mystery that music has over us. I have driven hours upon hours to see bands that no one knows, and have flown half way across the country to be the only person (along with my brother) to know who is playing. Why? I don't know...I have slept in my car in cold mountains to see a former punk legend play his blue grass...why??? That's so insane when one thinks about it...but its the music, that feeling you get when you see your favorite band play your favorite song, and then you drink a beer with them. There's something about it. And I don't know what it is...and if I am lucky I never will know...

As we can see...this ting that music holds on me, at least, can't be analytical, for the amount of time and money I have spent on the music I love is completely un-analytical. It makes no sense...but it makes me happy...and I love those songs, those shows, and those times....

It's all just a bad dream...

I'll call up fears to meet
and spit them out, down in front of me,
then bury them to this beat.
And take everything with a grain of salt
to let all rubbish rot without a thought.
-Hot Water Music

A part of me remembers that boy who had all of those hopes and dreams. I am not saying that those dreams and hopes are gone, but it is amazing as to how life can not only beat you down, but it can resurrect you, too. I remember wanting to learn sign language so I could talk to gorillas. Yea. Right. Now I drive buses for to pay my habits. Is it not absolutely hilarious how this all comes to be?

I know of some people who if they had been given this hand, this draw of the cards, they would become bitter and angry and most likely resent the life they lead and resent all things around them and the people they are with. I am not one to really be a massive fan of Fight Club, but there is one line that always resides in me, and seems to ring true...You are not your khakis. Meaning, I am not my job, and I am doing everything I can to break down this idea that "if you are this way, this is the life you lead!" Meaning...I went to school for 4 years, gained two degrees, I should be wearing suits all day. But I'm not. I'm blue collared to the teeth. And I like that. See? Why not just be unexpected, be beautiful, be kind, be resilient in the face of adversity. I see in a day all too often the lives that people lead and most let the world beat them to a bloody pulp.

So, those line from Hot Water Music...that holds true to all of us. The fears, the bull crap you deal with daily, stamp it out with friends, drinks, songs, dancing (preferably line dancing) and know that the life you have been given is yours to live. Toast to the Father, to your father and make the best of it, for if you do, you will reap rewards that no job can give, no amount of money can sum up too.

The things you see in the world all can't be real...

So I heard of an interesting theory that physicians have come up with. Its the idea (I am not certain of its tecnical name) that the world in which we reside, this reality as we know it, is truly a virtual reality, all projections from our minds, or something to this extent. I believe the physics behind use something with the Big Bang's ability to create light and images in such a way that they appear real...but in reality (which, if this theory is true, would be a useless word) the world as we know it exists as images, not objects.

I find this so fascinating, due to the fact, that this way of thinking resembles philosophical conundrums. How do we know what is real is truly and honestly real? What is reality? What are objects and time and space and matter? These are all things normal physics takes for granted...while metaphysicians waste paper and ink attempting to explain it...or theorize it...So is reality really real, or is reality the end result of an explosion that made some things up...? Or is projections from our complex minds?

There are many ideas as to what this is...and as a person who went through 4 years of scholastic endevours into the ideas of what reality is...let me tell you...no one knows...and no one will know. It can be existence made by a God (which I favor) or it can all projections of our mind or it can be as calus as everything is as it is, leave it be. Is there an objective reality? I have to say yes. When you die, if the human race dies, this place still exists. No matter what you beleive time and space are not human inventions, the words may be, but not the actual things that are time and space. They exist whether we understand them or not, our understanding of these core aspects of reality do not bring reality into being, rather, it brings our CONCEPTS of reality into being.

So...what does this mean....? Really...it depends on who you talk to...to me...it means that my life is about as unimportant as any one else's....yet further...and in a twist of logic, my life is just as important as anyone else's. See...if everything can exist without us, then what does life mean? This, no one can answer, no matter what they say. But what it means in the end, is you DO impact this reality, you are a part of the current objective reality in which you live.

Make positive changes as opposed to negative ones.

Choked and Separated

That title comes from a Hot Water Music song appropriately called Choked and Separated. The reason I use this is because I sit here on a day off and all I can think about how many people seem to be separated from what reality is. For instance, I am watching World's Strictest Parents on CMT and the show is having these kids from Cali (the OC baby) go to some rural place in Tennessee. I find it so interesting that these are kids that are something like 16 or so and they are already consumed by the outlets of alcohol sex and parties. Hell, wait until your at least 18, I suppose...

This is all beside the point...There was something that struck me as "odd." The kid form Cali asked the people if they had ever been to California (in an appropriate Arnold voice.) All responded with a resounding "No." The boy from California acknowledged their answer with a smug and pretentious look, which is bothersome to me...There are certain places in this country that separate themselves from all others, notably, as many political cartoonists make humor of, New York City, SoCal, the deep south, etc. I believe though I would be wrong though if this was it. That seems to be the tendencies on a macro scale, but if we go further down and see at the micro scale how much people separate themselves form the world, either intentionally or accidentally, we all get choked and we all get separated. Its life.

But...what makes us beat this choke and separation...what makes us drive away from removing ourselves from reality...always have an open mind to new experiences. Don't compromise yourself, but allow yourself to see through the eyes of others...as you can...because if you don't then all you do is end up segregated and mistakenly ignorant.

good luck, God bless and have a fantastic day!

Honesty

To be honest, I saw one of my friends (Tony) do this, and I figured that I should follow him.
What can I say, somethings are worth leading on your own and others are worth following someone.

Some people do this so that they can tell others what is going on in their lives. I do this because its a simple exercise in a form of expression I have come to adore. So if you care, great, if you don't bugger off. Its rather simple.

I read something from one of my favorite musicians and it simply...tickled...me. Actually, it made me really think about alot of things about myself and the world, this reality, I reside in, and I began to just see so many things, so many things wrong. Call this an existential conundrum of sorts.

What I noticed, through facebook's status updates is that people whine all too often on their status. That, or they're so pretentious that they really honestly think what they say truly matters. I find this absolutely fascinating. Honest to God, most of the people who post updates, I could care less about. And most people are like this. If you aren't then you are either lying or you are one of those people who cares about whether or not moss got stepped on and ruined by the sole of the hikers shoes. Not that there is anything wrong with this. Just is an idealistic worldview that can be discussed sometime else.

Back to what was said by the musician. He talked about people who move up on in the world and then decide to sit and say "well look at how hard I worked to get here.He essentially calls them pretentious pricks because of the people who are honest to God true hardworkers are the ones that do the same thing day in and day out and don't whine. The ones who have no chance at advancement.

The one thign that I have learned with my current stay at COTA is that I am a hardworker. I like long days and I like the pride that comes with knowing that I perform a public service. The thing that makes me laugh is that I could do any other office job out there (it doesn't take stinking 4 years of schooling to do most jobs in the administrative world) become bored, probably have a dislikenment to my boss and loathe those who got to be outside.

So...if I advance in my professional life, fantastic. If not, I am fine. But if you are one of those ones who feels that you need a title or if you're so above work that you can't work 60+ hours a week, don't you dare tell us low men on the totem pole how hard you had to work. We know. We're doing it. We do it everyday, and its fine with us. Just don't tell us how much better you got it, cuz really, you don't and all you're doing is trying to rain on our parade.

Good luck, God bless, and have a beautiful day!